Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Barnyard of Entrepreneurs 7: Hit With the Rich Stick

Big Pig was tweeting again, and it had the entire barnyard talking.

Nobody doubted that Big Pig Ventures was a success.  It sprayed start-up money in every direction like a giant pinwheel.

And nobody doubted Big Pig was famous, especially among the impressionable pullets.  He had recently backed the Duck's ethanol plant, which was the talk of the barnyard.

But on Twitter, Big Pig seemed to have an opinion about everything.

"RATS SHOULD HAVE UNFETTERED ACCESS TO FERMENTED CORN FEED CRUMBLE" Pig had tweeted that morning.  Brown Hen was incensed.  "What does Pig know about fermented corn feed crumble?" she demanded of Rooster.  "Or rats?"

"He did fund the ethanol plant," Rooster responded, trying to soothe her.  "That uses corn."

"And I stepped in my water dish this morning," Hen answered.  "I'm not tweeting about synchronized swimming, am I?"

Red Hen strutted over.  "But Big Pig has a degree in Computer Science.  And he is really rich," she said.  "Really rich people who can write software are really smart about everything."

"Until Twitter," Speckled Hen added, "we just didn't know it!"

Rooster grimaced.  He recalled a board he'd once sat on where the other directors always agreed with whatever the richest director said.  It drove the CEO nuts.  And almost sunk the company.

"Remember what Horse wrote in his tech column last year?" Rooster asked.  "He said 'Big Pig got hit with the Lucky Rich Stick but thinks he got hit with the Smart Stick.'"  Rooster laughed.  "That was a classic!"

Brown Hen still wasn't laughing.  "Last week he tweeted that COWS ALWAYS LIE DOWN WHEN IT'S ABOUT TO RAIN."  She looked up, bewildered.  "Does Pig think cows are meteorologists?"

"And then," she added, "He advised all of the pullets to DROP OUT OF SCHOOL AND START A COMPANY."  She scratched the dirt in frustration.  "Does he have any clue how many useless social networking apps we'd have if every pullet did that?"

"And me-too shopping apps," Speckled Hen groaned.

Rooster could tell Brown Hen was really upset.  "Horse once said that Big Pig was the perfect combination of unexpected wealth and lack of self-awareness.  Maybe you should just unfollow him," Rooster suggested, thinking briefly that "wealthy but oblivious" might really describe Twitter's power users.

Hen took a deep breath.  Now she smiled.

"I suppose," she said, "that's a good idea.  But then," and Brown Hen finally laughed, realizing how silly she was being, "what mindless entertainment would I have to look forward to while Game of Thrones is off for the summer?"